For Mom

Mom, she said that I should blog more.....wear clean underwear....treat a lady like a lady....get home earlier next time....don't stay out late....eat whats on my plate...get off the phone....stop fighting with my brother....take out the trash (actually that was dad)....fill the car with gas....take a bath....read my Bible....be careful....let her know where I was....stop joking around....and when she and dad would go away for awhile her last words were..."If we don't come back live for Jesus". I am proud of you and love you lots.

MERRY CHRISTMAS MOM AND DAD!

Hello

I'm not dead! Breathing quite well actually. Just not motivated to blog lately. I'm a great starter but a poor finisher....trying to change because it is a deficiency of mine. I always feel it necessary to post something of value but who is the "Value Police" that dictates adequate postings? We are "doing" good. Not quite sure what all that means but it is a standard we have placed on our society as to how we think our lives are going. We continue to learn how to love God. Sometimes that stings a little but we are discovering who we are in His eyes and I believe that we have had a wrong standard for some time. We believe God working us toward a direction of something...just not sure where. We are becoming willing for His use and more willing to let go. Let me explain a little of where I am. This will be new to Tami also since we have not talked today much.....(no problems just going different directions this morning).
I will try to summarize. Had a 3 hour trip yesterday in an ambulance...long ride for me and I wasn't the one sick. It was cancer that started two years ago...been through chemo, radiation and trial (experimental "I was just a guinea pig") medications which has resulted in the cancer spreading to...well...everywhere. Bones are now breaking spontaneously due to cancer and there is a hole in the stomach where contents now leak from. There is no true relief from the pain and a simple pinch of hair between the fingers results in a bald spot occurring. Family follows behind and they wave at each other through the back window of the ambulance. They smile, laugh and say how proud they are of each other. "Everyone is in such a hurry" is the answer to "Has your perspective on life changed?" that I asked. "I'm done...there is nothing else for them to do...fix me up enough to go fishing." My mind is spinning for encouraging conversation of which I find difficult to muster appropriate words. What if I am the last contact of Jesus for them? What if....what if....what if is all I'm thinking. Death is certain. Sooner for some but certain for all. It will come quick or slow, peaceful or tragic but always in God's time. So...how was I Jesus to them?...you will need to ask Jesus...but for today I look for the next opportunity...in whatever form...Lord help me not to fail you.

Catchup

Half of June is gone and I believe it is picking up speed. What has happened? Kids are swimming with meets on weekends and Kirsten has taken the biggest plunge of her life. We were excited that she wanted to be baptized. As her dad, words cannot express my feelings. I tried to talk that day but my words got soaked with tears and splashed out of my mouth like a child with croup. I just wanted to express..."Thank you God!!! Thank you for getting a grip on my daughter. Thank you for securing a place for her in heaven. Thank you." That is even hard for me to type. I love my kids. The pictures you see are of her baptism, family and friends that came to celebrate with us. Tami and I will never forget that day.
Thank you to those who came to help celebrate that day and thank you to those who were not able to make it and have had an influence in Kirsten's life. We are blessed!!

Still here

Been a while since last post. Its time for a change. I'll work on it. So, here's a quick update since March:

Turned 40--it was just another day in my miserable life :)
Kirsten finished track: High jump, 4x100 4x200 and 200 good times!
Seth: shoots a lot of baskets in the drive....beat me in PIG (but I am 40)
Drew: Lover of Life!! All can be fixed with a simple kiss!!
Tami: Keeps us all going. Counting days to the end of school and looking forward to vacation.
Friends from Alaska visited us. We miss them and love them lots. Surely they need a firefighter in Alaska?!?!
Preparing to drive to Oregon! Hope the ole van makes it!!
Promoted to Lieutenant and will be moving to the new fire station.
Kirsten will be getting baptised her at our house in June. THAT'S AWESOME!!!
Hosting a party for some great friends of ours in June. THAT TOO IS AWESOME!!!
Coffe maker not working this morning. That is NOT awesome.
Will be working on a new format for this blog...just need the change.
Looking forward to this summer. We hope to see you all and looking forward to what God has in store for us.
Till next time.....

A close one!

In 2010 there were 85 on-duty firefighter deaths. Kansas had 5. There were only four other states that had more on-duty firefighter deaths. The majority of deaths that occur are related to heart problems namely heart attacks. Trauma is the next leading cause of firefighter deaths. As a persons age increases, so do the odds of injury or death.....makes sense. In the fire service it is often said that it takes 10 years to make a complete firefighter. By this time, most firefighters are well into their thirtys and many into their fortys. The percentage of firefighter deaths below the age of 40 is 23%. That means that I and many others are approaching that "critical age"....okay, so maybe I am now in that critical age. Several years ago my brother was working a fire when the floor gave out sending him into the basement. He lands on a couch...(ironic, just where he spends a lot of time!) his crew was able to get a ladder to him and assist him out without injury. Several months later while working an attic fire I fell through the ceiling landing on my stomach. I didnt tell Tami until I got home and that was only because I knew the Chief would be stopping to check on me (wasn't hurt so why cause the worry?) Well, Kip took another fall this past Saturday. A few scans, lots of pain meds and he is resting at home, sore but fortunate for a hard head. We love our jobs, we love our crews we work with. Not a better group of men! Fear has a way of putting life into perspective. You consider the what ifs. We need that from time to time....just wish it didn't hurt so much. Proud of you Kip, proud of your crew, couldn't ask for a better big brother. I love you much.

Words!

Cell phones, text, e-mail, blog, twitter, facebook and all the others to "communicate" with each other. It has me thinking this morning. In the last two years so many words spoken or written have injured so many lives...yet what about the words that have healed?, encouraged?, lifted up?, challenged?, forgiven?, loved???? My dad would not be a person considered as a man of many words, however, he is a man with carefully selected words filled with honesty, sincerety, humor, love and wisdom. When dad prays he makes you feel as if he and God are best friends...and I believe they are. Dad, I have seen you over the years handle, stress, hurt, joy, death, grandchildren, church issues, and marriage and I have never known you to utter an unkind word. When asked, you give honest advice laced with years of experience and wisdom. You are an excellent example of a Godly man. Thank you. May our words not be many but carefully selected for the building up of others and honoring God.

Death to Self

Faith, being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Read it and re-read that first sentence. What do I hope for? Good health? safety for my kids? financial security? promotion at work? Its what the ancients were commended for. Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Moses, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Rahab and all the others that there was not enough time to tell about. When they died they were still living by faith, sure of what they hoped for and certain of what they did not see. How do I live like that without dieing to self of which I do not understand? How do I only hope for God? Just thinking!